bird by bird

I think I've probably posted this quote/scene from HBO's GIRLS before, but I just love it so much!! I'm going back to South Dakota tomorrow for the week, and I think I need to give myself this same pep talk. It's not true, but sometimes you just have to tell yourself these kind of things. She doesn't have a real job. She wants to be a writer. She's basically single. She's basically me. "You are from New York; therefore you are just naturally interesting. Okay ? It is not up to you to fill all of the pauses. You are not in danger of mortifying yourself. The worst stuff that you say sounds better than the best stuff that some other people say."

It was raining when I left work on Friday, so as I left the office I popped open my umbrella and ran to the subway dodging stalling cabs and stalling tourists. I stopped in Magnolia Bakery to pick up a little b-day cake-ette for TB, and then rushed home to shower and pack for a weekend in Brooklyn. A weekend in Brooklyn ?, you say. Isn't that in the same city?  You're right that the boroughs are relatively close, especially if you are driving, but if you take the subway (which is notoriously slow and unreliable on the weekends), it takes at least an hour to get from my apartment in the 'Hood (with a capital H) to my friends' apartments in Williamsburg and Clinton Hill. So I packed a stick-tied handkerchief (a tote bag from Aspen) and left my 'hood for a weekend of bumming around in Brooklyn. I got off at the Bedford stop on the L and immediately felt at home in Williamsburg, Yeah, yeah, hipster schmipster. I met TB and a pit bull named Billie Holiday outside he...

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Today I stepped outside during my lunch break to warm myself by sitting on concrete steps across the street. [I swear, regardless of the summer temperature outside, the office A/C is at borderline frostbite conditions!] Anyway, I was sitting there reading this on my nook about how maybe my life isn't as totally out of control as it feels sometimes, and a noticed that a photo shoot was happening right in front of me. There was a model (an ant of a human being- SO TINY) and a whole crew of stylists, photographers, and people holding giant reflectors and hangers and photography equipment. I thought, "Huh." and went back to reading my nook book. An hour or so later, I realized how strange it is that this sort of thing doesn't really phase me any more. A year ago, I would have been sneaking pictures with my iPhone and texting all my friends: " Guys! I'm witnessing a Park Avenue photo shoot right now! " but instead I was mildly amused for like a half a second...

I don't know WHY this is SO funny to me! But it is! SO FUNNY!

"I think you're a great, cool kid, and the best friend a girl could have." Lorelai : Happy birthday, little girl. Rory : Hey. Lorelai : I can't believe how fast you're growing up. Rory : Really? Feels slow. Lorelai : Trust me, it's fast. What do you think of your life so far? Rory : I think it's pretty good. Lorelai : Any complaints? Rory : I'd like that whole humidity thing to go away. Lorelai : Alright, I'll work on that. Rory : So, do I look older? Lorelai : Oh, yeah! You walk into Denny's before 5:00 and you've got yourself a discount. Rory : Good. Lorelai : So you know what I think? Rory : What? Lorelai : I think you're a great, cool kid, and the best friend a girl could have.

Your boss is like all the evil step mothers in all Disney movies COMBINED. Plus Scar! Your boss makes Meryl Streep's character in the movie The Devil Wears Prada look like Barney the friendly dinosaur. Your boss is the kind of boss that inspired Johnny Paycheck to write this song . Your boss is irrational and temperamental and unreasonable and selfish. Your boss blows. And I'm sorry that you have to put up with her. Let's watch a movie about male strippers and forget all about your boss. Okay? I wish that this guy could be your boss. If only he was into fashion..

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

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For me, getting rejected is like when diabetics have to prick their fingers for a blood test. It happens regularly. It stings. It is annoying. But it's the way it needs to be.

Because DP loves my blog quizzes and because our now mutual friend DB invited me to Trivia on Tuesday night, I'm posting this picture of a comic strip character, and you have to guess who it is!! This is actually one of the trivia questions that we got wrong, but I'm curious to see if there are any comic strip aficionados in the crowd. Anyone know what this fat cat's name is?? Say my name, say my name! Clue #1: This cat has a feline friend who loves eating lasagna and a canine comrade whose tongue is always sticking out. Clue #2: The illustrator of the comic strip grew up on a small farm in Indiana with 25 cats. Clue #3: His name is NOT Normal (but it's close).

"In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe  and enough shadows to blind those who don't."   -Blaise Pascal

We met at a fashion-y thing where we bonded over free hors d'oeuvres and discussed life in the Upper West Side. I don't remember exactly what we talked about, but I remember leaving the event with a new contact in my phone and a new good friend in my life. In the following months, we met up at your apartment in the UWS for wine and to whine and at my apartment in Harlem to create and brainstorm and binge on burritos. We've had more heart-to-hearts and pee-your-pants moments than one would expect after less than a year of friendship. But I think it's true that sometimes you meet someone who feels like someone you have known all along. You are that to me. Thanks for coming into my life, for reminding me of the difference between "truth" and "myth," for making me laugh about everything and nothing at the same time, for giving me a job-intervention when I hated nannying, for loving country music, for believing in my writing, and for being such a kick-a...

Tents are set up, beers are cracked, and the frisbee is flying through the air toward me as I stand in the middle of a Latvian campground in New Hampshire. It's my very first Ligo, a summer solstice holiday celebrated in Latvia, and I'm surrounded by my friends EH, TH, ZS, and EO (who is the only one of our group with actual Latvian blood). EO has been coming and bringing friends to this East coast Latvian gathering every year for over 7 years, and the others have all been here before. For me, this whole experience, this whole culture is new and completely intriguing. I am enchanted. I am wearing a flower wreath made of wildflowers that EH, EO, and I picked in the fields behind EO's home in Boxford, MA. Sitting on EO's deck in the morning of Ligo, we spread out our collection of daisies and peonies and other unnamed flowers, and began to thread them together to form our flower wreaths. We twisted thread, carefully placed blossoms, and gently curved the bundle of flo...

The world isn't all bad. See? "Security cameras capture more than just burglaries, brawls and automobile accidents. They also capture sweet, everyday moments of people just being, well, people. It's those feel good moments Coca-Cola highlights in a new video advertisement that urges viewers to "look at the world a little differently."' ( Source )

BL and DP, you win!! (See this blog post .) The game (Where in the World is... Amanda Lightfield??) was slightly misleading because the answer to my clues was the country of Latvia, and I didn't technically go to Latvia. *Gotcha!* But I did go to New Hampshire where I went to my very first Latvian Summer Solstice celebration! I sang Latvian songs, drank homemade Latvian beer, ate Latvian cheeses, and participated in the Latvian holiday called Līgo! Never heard of it? Here is a summary: "Līgo! and Jāņi are a somewhat mystic event, as, according to ancient traditions, you have to search for the Legendary fern blossom, wash your face in the grass`s morning dew, and gather herbal plants , which are said to have a special power midsummer. Summer Solstice or Jāņi celebrations date back centuries, when Europeans actively practiced the cult of the Sun. Bonfires and other rituals were not only part of annual traditional celebrations, but also manifested the unity of cosmic a...

“I don't want to freak you out,  but I think I may be the voice of my generation.  Or at least a voice.  Of a generation.” Hannah

One of my favorite times of year is when NBC's Today Show runs its "Where in the World is Matt Lauer??" segment. The ever-so-balding news anchor travels to a variety of world locales within one week. Before he reveals where he is stationed, he gives the other Today Show hosts clues, and they have to guess where he is. I love this part the most because it's totally and quite obviously unscripted which means there is a big possibility that someone is going to look stupid on live national television. Usually, it's Al. Notice the hat?? We know what's under there, Matt.. This is all a very long-winded way of telling you that I'm going somewhere strange this weekend, and I want you to guess where! I'm going to give you three clues. Won't this be fun?! Your guesses won't even be televised, so no one is going to judge you. Ok, ready? Clue #1: A member of the band who did it all for the nookie was born here and learned to DJ several years af...

by Steven Folkins I have been unemployed for a year now. I was laid off last June and have been on the hunt for a full time job since then with very little success. I have written hundreds of cover letters, some formal, some semi-formal and some quoting Oprah. My Oprah cover letter is truly my favorite and I would write about it here, but I don’t want you stealing it, because it is pretty brilliant, if you ask me. Well, maybe not so brilliant since I haven’t gotten a job using it, but it has gotten me more than one interview. As I spend time crafting cover letter after cover letter, I wonder how many of these letters actually get read by a real human being. These thoughts have led me to writing this cover letter where I just get real. Feel free to use this one and if you get hired can you get me a job there too? Important Person Reading This Company That Should Totally Hire Me A Really Cool Building Located Near Public Transportation Hey! I know this cover letter is su...

TODAY IS THE DAY!!! It's not really my day (the trains were running late this morning and my monthly student loan payment is due), but it is my favorite librarian's day!!! Today GG and her roadie, MW end their six day road trip starting in Sioux Falls, SD and ending in another, slightly cooler SF- San Fransisco!!  Although GG has been behind the wheel of her PT Loser for six days, she has been on her California-bound journey for years. She has purged and packed, saved and said goodbye, and now, today she gets to say hello to her new California life. I could not be more proud and elated and excited for her and her new adventure. You go girl!! Remember: If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done. Welcome to your new life! Live it up!! Photo credit to MW- I stole it from her Instagram! Source: kampayseo.com via Adrianne on Pinterest I can't wait to come and visit!!

Super creepy music, super cool footage. WATERFLOW from mistasung on Vimeo .

Now you'd be three, I said to myself, seeing a child born the same summer as you. Now you'd be six, or seven, or ten. I watched you grow in foreign bodies. Leaping into a pool, all laughter, or frowning over a keyboard, but mostly just standing, taller each time. How splendid your most mundane action seemed in these joyful proxies. I often held back tears. Now you are twenty-one. Finally, it makes sense that you have moved away into your own afterlife. I read this poem today and immediately though of Baby J and about how much I miss him and will continue to miss him as he grows up into a little boy and a teenager and a man. He probably won't remember me; he might not remember me now, but I'll always remember the six months when I was his nanny and he was mine.

I don't exactly know what I want my future to look like, but I do know that I want it to look like this: Source: blog.evablackdesign.com via Amanda on Pinterest

I woke up to this image/quote chilling in my inbox from AP who sent it to me while I was fast asleep. Did she read my dreams/mind?! This is just too perfect. I have a draft of something that I've been working on for years (and no, LS, I'm not talking about that damn independent study in grad school!). But I haven't been able to complete this project partially because I'm a perfectionist (and it's NOT perfect) and partly because its about people, about what happened to me. Getting this reminder from none other than my literary lady AL was the motivation I needed to pull out a shitty first (or tenth) draft, and feel ok about really telling my story. To be continued...

GG dropboxed me this song last week, and it took me back to a time before I had to shave my legs or worry about wrinkles or pimples... or really anything. I have been listening to it non-stop all week, so I decided to share with my faithful followers (all 5 of you!). I looked the video up on YouTube, and I was SHOCKED! Shocked, I tell you! First of all, when I heard this song as a seven-year-old, I thought that Robyn was black. I have thought so ever since. She definitely is not black. She is blonde. And Swedish. Secondly, I had NO IDEA that that Robyn is the same Robyn that has been a coveted artist on my recently played playlist for like a year. It's the SAME PERSON! My mind is blown. This must be how KS felt when I told her that Tracy Chapman was a woman.

I walked to the grocery store last night to pick up some fruit and coffee. When I was waiting in line to check out I saw the cutest little old lady with a cute gray bun in her hair. She looked exactly like the granny in the Beverly Hillbillies. I thought, "Oh, fer cute..!" Then I looked down at her arms and noticed that they were completely covered in tattoos. Granny had tattoo sleeves! It was alarming and amazing all at the same time. Then as I was leaving the grocery store, I noticed a homeless man leaned up against the building, and I decided to offer him a banana. It was the only food I had purchased that he could eat right away and I told myself, "He could probably use some potassium." As I walked over to the man to offer him the fruit, I suddenly became aware of two guys behind me on either side. I gave my banana away and started to walk away as the two men started harassing me about being "sexy" (I was wearing sweats, mind you) and "wanting ...

No your fight is not within Yours is with your timing   Dream your dreams but don't pretend   Be friends with what you are   Give your heart then change your mind   You're allowed to do it   Cause God knows it's been done to you   And somehow you got through it

Lately, I have been experiencing a new-to-me phenomenon known as GOOD LUCK. Like I have been having a disproportionate amount of fun. I don't feel too guilty about it because one year ago, I was have a disproportionate amount of NO fun, so I'm glad that things are finally starting to come back around. Other than the fact that no one will hire me or date me, and I'm not sure how I'm going to pay my rent next month, things have really been working out for me all of a sudden! In the last few weeks, I've been to a Broadway show, a rooftop birthday party, actually TWO rooftop birthday parties, picnics in Prospect Park and Central Park, and to the New York City Ballet! (Note that most if not all of these events have been free or almost free- minus the Broadway). I have the world's GREATEST temp job, and earlier this week, I got invited to go to Atlantic City for a 24 hour adventure! Bob the security guard has so much faith in my [beginner's] luck that he gave me...

I love, like LOVE Mister Rogers, but I will be the first to admit that the first time I watched this video, I was a lit-tle weirded out. But then I watched the video again and again, and now I'm full-on obsessed with it. I literally found myself dancing to it this morning when I was getting ready for work. Mister Rogers, the things you do to me..!

"Ok, self, it's TBK's birthday, and you have to do something special! You're broke, really broke, so the Tiffany's BFF bracelet that you have been eye-ing will have to wait until next year. This year you're going to have to stick to something creative.. and free." * Pause for reflection * "Ok, I've got it! Write TBK a baller blog post about how much you love her and miss her and are thankful that she still admits you're her friend. Write about all of your favorite memories together: all the cities and countries you have explored together and all the holidays, parties, and festivals you've celebrated together. Tell her that she's been there when you needed her, and that you'll always be there for her, too. Oh, and also be witty and sincere and specific, and watch out for those run-on sentences, young lady! Now, Go! Write!" Yeeeaaahhh, I'm not going to be able to do that. There is no way that I can begin to write a post t...

My homegirl Regina Spektor came out with a new album, and... of course it's amazing. It's not as pop-y or as weird as some of her other stuff; actually I think it's borderline melancholic. I still love it. In fact, I love it because of its melancholy. I particularly love this song. I had the exact same reaction to hearing it for the first time as I did to Joni Mitchell's, " Both Sides Now . " It's a clutch-your-heart-and-smile-into-the-sun-while-suppressing-deep-seated-tears kind of feeling. You know? Haha well just listen and see what I mean.

I listened to gangsta rap on my 9 block walk to the USD Alumni Reception last night. I needed to get myself psyched up to schmooze and mingle and force myself to "be bold." After Monday's big job rejection, I wasn't feeling particularly confident, and I wasn't looking forward to answering the routine question, "So, what do you do?" I drowned my inner voice insecurities by blaring Biggie Smalls as I walked down Madison Avenue toward the Union League Club . I walked in the intimidating building with a handful of well-suited men, many of them carrying what looked to me like tennis rackets. I thought, "Oh, great. I already don't fit in." Then I though, "Oh crap, are chicks allowed in this place!?" Lucky, I found older lady in a black suit, and I followed her to a big, academic-y looking room with dark wood, huge drapes, paintings of dead presidents, and a glowing open bar (which I spotted immediately). After picking up my name tag ...

Friday night AP and MR came over to my apartment on a tour de Harlem. We drank wine, ate popcorn, and AP showed us this video of the two girls she used to nanny for in Nashville. They are SO CUTE and I LOVE this song, so of course I was totally secondhand star struck that AP was their babysitter!! The video has gone viral now, and it's continuously popping up on my fb newsfeed. I feel like such a loser but I can't help myself from commenting every single time, "I'M FRIENDS WITH THEIR  NANNY"  And not to be a total thunder stealer... but I did babysit pseudo-famous kids too. Check out this video of the Wyden twins, and watch as Joe Biden does what politicians do best (Steal from little kids). 

Monday, June 4th, 2012: I Have a Bad Attitude! Today was real shitty.  First, it was cold and rainy and Monday. It was also National Old Maid's Day. The batteries were dead on my ipod and iphone and since I left my charger in Brooklyn, I was music-less for my whole 30 minute commute to work.  I got to work, started up my computer, and did what I do. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Gchat, HuffingtonPost, repeat.  Then I found out that my current temp job is going to expire soon which is going to mean an uncertain future of starting over AGAIN.  Lunch was Mexican food but they were all out of guacamole by the time I got to take my break at 1:30.  A couple hours later I found out that I didn't get the dream library job that my Theta-fairy godmother was trying to help me land. The job that I was perfect for and was perfect for me. The job that was in my neighborhood, was directly related to my education and experience, and had my name written all over...

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GG sent this to me last week, and I finally got around to reading it. And, of course, I LOVE it. Before you read it, you should listen to Etta Jame's version of "Sunday Kind of Love." It's a beautiful song, but I think this essay does a better job of describing the kind of love I want. I Want A Tuesday Kind Of Love | Thought Catalog By: Stephanie Georgolpulos I want a Tuesday kind of love. The sort of thing that involves little dreaming and scheming; the sort of thing that comes paired with too-strong coffee and too-loud songbirds and the drone of the news at 6 a.m. or any time before the sky finds its identity, really. A Tuesday kind of love that isn’t indulgent, one that doesn’t stop the earth from spinning but maybe keeps us grounded in spite of all that uncontrollable movement. I want to split the bill and pay the bills and not get lost in some unsustainable delusion where the rest of our lives become inconsequential. I want us to be human, I w...

Lately I've been crazy for picnics! Picnics in Central Park. Picnics in Battery Park. Picnics in Prospect Park. Picnics are especially thrilling for someone like me who is on a tight budget and in need of some major Vitamin D (sunshine!). All you need is a sheet to sit on, some snacks, friends, and an agreeable weather forecast. Combine all these things (and a super cute mini-cocktail shaker) and you have... My latest obsession! PICNICS!!! KS and AP at Memorial Day/Central Park Picnic with pinapple LZ and WA at Prospect Park Picnic with watermelon AP with my cute mini-cocktail shaker! Feeling sunny in Prospect Park (which I keep accidentally calling Prentis Park) DB, C, and ET rode their bikes over