bird by bird

Five years ago when people asked me why I was moving to New York, the best answer I could give was, "Because it's New York, that's why." It sounds a little arrogant now looking back, but for the most part, people understood what I meant. New York is the epicenter of art, business, culture, fashion (and all the other sections of the NYTimes), and so it didn't take a lot of explaining when I told people I was leaving SD for NY. But now I'm getting asked that same question about my upcoming move to Denver. "Why Denver?" I am asked. I'm finding the answer to be harder to nail down. So I thought about it, and here's why ...Because I grew up on the prairie and then moved to the city, and now, as they say, "the mountains are calling and I must go." ...Because I crave a fresh start and fresher air. ...Because I want to be closer to home, closer to my mom and her cat and our lake cabin and an airport that I can fly directly into. ...Because

"If you grew up around alcoholism, one of the first things you learned to do was agree not to see what was really going on." --Anne Lamott

One night about six months ago, I had a dream that we were on a trip together, in a wooded area in Latvia. We were in a tourist group led by my Colombian friend Santiago, and we were climbing over rocks and leaves and broken branches. We stumbled upon a part in the trail where there was a massive swarm of bees that we had no choice but to walk through. I could physically feel hundreds of bees bouncing off my skin, arms, face, and I looked to you knowing that these tiny stinging bugs were your biggest fear. I saw terror in your eyes, and for a moment you reminded me of my father. You looked like a small boy, in the frame of a 31 (now 32) year-old-man. I opened up a big black umbrella and I promised you that if you took cover with me, I would protect you from them. I'd get you through the bees. We tried to use the umbrella as a shield, and I used my body to cover yours as best as I could, but it didn't work. I couldn't protect, shield, save you. I woke up knowing that this wo