My trip to the grocery store

I walked to the grocery store last night to pick up some fruit and coffee. When I was waiting in line to check out I saw the cutest little old lady with a cute gray bun in her hair. She looked exactly like the granny in the Beverly Hillbillies. I thought, "Oh, fer cute..!" Then I looked down at her arms and noticed that they were completely covered in tattoos. Granny had tattoo sleeves! It was alarming and amazing all at the same time.


Then as I was leaving the grocery store, I noticed a homeless man leaned up against the building, and I decided to offer him a banana. It was the only food I had purchased that he could eat right away and I told myself, "He could probably use some potassium." As I walked over to the man to offer him the fruit, I suddenly became aware of two guys behind me on either side. I gave my banana away and started to walk away as the two men started harassing me about being "sexy" (I was wearing sweats, mind you) and "wanting my bananas." I'll spare you the crude specifics of their comments. They wouldn't stop; they continued to follow me and comment on my body and my fruit for the rest of the block. I ignored them the whole time, then they finally left me alone. I vowed not to give away my bananas anymore!


After I warded off the banana sick-o's, I put in my ipod headphones and started jamming to One Direction. (FYI I just heard of these guys and whoa, so good!). I was a block and a half from home and carrying groceries in both hands when I suddenly looked up and saw a NAKED MAN! ON THE STREET! COMPLETELY NAKED! I. SAW. EVERYTHING. Naked man had taken off his clothes which were in a pile on the sidewalk, and he was walking around aimlessly as poor, traumatized people, myself included, started darting away from him. A group of younger people had their phones out and were taking pictures and video; though why you would want to capture a scene like that is beyond me! A grumbling old man whom I almost ran into because we were both fleeing the scene told me, "Someone needs to call the police!" I was so eager to tell someone what had just happened that I ran all the way home and up the stairs to my apartment. I burst into the living room gasping for air, and in between breaths I told HK, "Naked. Man. On. The. Street."


 And then I put my groceries away. And I shook my head as I did it.

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