bird by bird

Last week I had my very first surgery! I wish I could say it was a regular surgery like getting my appendix taken out or a bad ass surgery like repairing a torn ACL, but it wasn't boring or interesting--more embarrassing than anything else. I got a nose job. I mean, not really. I didn't get a cosmetic rhinoplasty like the kind that movie stars get and then lie about. I had an open septorhinoplasty with bilateral spreader grafts, bilateral lateral crural extension grafts and caudal septal reset, which basically equals same nose, bigger nostrils, better breathing. Hopefully. I've been home for a week recovering, with some help and companionship from my mom and other CO loves. I've had such lofty goals set for myself this week--almost none of which I accomplished. I had planned to finish 2 books I have started and stalled, write every day, organize my closet, and many more apartment projects. Instead, I took pain killers, drank soup, and mustered up enough ambition to s

“Part of me loves and respects men so desperately, and part of me thinks they are so embarrassingly incompetent at life and in love. You have to teach them the very basics of emotional literacy. You have to teach them how to be there for you, and part of me feels tender toward them and gentle, and part of me is so afraid of them, afraid of any more violation.” -Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year