bird by bird

I love this song by Regina Spektor. a whole lot. I wanted to post the song so I made a quick video of pictures I took with my friends on NYE last year.

From Corrina, Corrina.. my sister bought it for me for Christmas. MOLLY Hey, Daddy-Oh! Every cat talks to God in his own way and God understands Chinese. So Corrina says, don't be jealous of the angels. Bo-Daddy-Bo! MANNY What did Corrina say? MOLLY Well, Corrina said that you're jealous of the angels. MANNY Why? MOLLY Because they get to spend all that time with Mommy. MANNY Molly, listen to me, okay? The heaven, the angels, and all that, it's just something that people make up so they won't feel sad anymore. MOLLY Well... what's wrong with that?

Miss you. You.

This is from the movie Penelope . The movie is whimsical and interesting (even if it is for 12 year old tweens). During this scene of the movie, the main character, Penelope, is playing a game of chess with her love interest. I don't know how to play chess.. I'm more of a checkers girl, myself, but I think it is an interesting concept that the Queen's death ends the game. I probably have more say about this but not today. Penelope: What are you doing instead? Max: [after a pause] Beating you at chess. Penelope: I warned you I'd kill her. Max: Well that's great, because, you know what? As soon as my guys hear what you've done... Penelope: The game will be over, your Queen'll be dead. Max: My King's still pretty... active. You know? Penelope: Once the Queen is dead, the King is useless. Max: What's that about? Penelope: I don't know. Maybe he's too depressed to fight. He really loved her, you know.

My mom keeps saying she needs to go outside and weed eat. It's December. She means snow blow. I stopped correcting her after the 4th time.

This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie 'The Graduate'. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent's marriage she'd only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story. 

The other day I watched 500 days of Summer with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. They're both adorable, but is it strange that I have a crush on Zooey, not Joseph? Anyway, I loved the movie.. the wardrobe, the soundtrack, the animation, everything. Especially this scene: McKenzie: [drunk] So do you have a boyfriend? Summer: No. McKenzie: Why not? Summer: Because I don’t want one. McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that. Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent? McKenzie: Are you a lesbian? Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything. McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Summer: Really? McKenzie: Nope. Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you– McKenzie: Break it down! Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? ...

I am 23 years old. I've had 22 Christmases with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, cats, and dogs and 21 Christmases with my dad. 22 Christmases with turkey and mashed potatoes, pie and lefsa. I've gone to bed 8 Christmas Eve nights anticipating Santa Claus and 23 Christmas Eve nights knowing my stocking would be filled in the morning. I have had 6 Christmases in my old house in Waubay, 16 Christmases in our old house in Watertown, and today, our first Christmas in our new house in Watertown. Thanks to snow/life, this year was different: no grandparents, no aunts or uncles, no dogs, no turkey dinner, no dad. This year, things were very different. But it was good. Appetizers instead of turkey and stuffing. 3 of us instead of 30 of us. Snow, snow, snow. Ho, Ho, Ho. Merry Christmas!!

I met up with High School friends tonight. I thought it would be weird, But it wasn't. It turns out that I'm not the only one who changed grew up evolved.

Let's say I had to make a list of 10 people in this world that I think really "get me".. I mean really get me.. not that they're just like me.. not that they always know what I'm thinking or agree with me.. but they just seem to understand who I am and where I'm coming from.  The way that art or words or music affects me, affects them. A look or a facial expression between us prompts a burst of laughter or a silent understanding.. I've found this "get me" factor is both rare and random. Some of these connections have been severed by death and some by oceans. Some I see every night as  I say to her "See you in the effing morning" and some I haven't seen since July during the fireworks when he walked past me and I tried to catch him to say "hello, my how things have changed." Some of these people keep in touch and some whose touch I miss. Some will notice my messed up pronouns. Some won't. Some will read this and know...

Th ursday, Dec 24 High: 29 °F RealFeel®: 8 °F Blizzard conditions with strong winds, low visibility and heavy snow, accumulating 4-8"

Here is the Co-MOH (co-Maid of Honor) speech that TB and I whipped up. It's cheesy and sentimental but heartfelt. Congrats Mr. and Mrs. SG! A: When I went through recruitment at USD, I met a skinny high-pitched west river girl and I didn’t know what to think of her. Little did I know that 5 years later I would be giving a Maid of Honor speech at her wedding. Tanya and I are so grateful for Theta for bringing us all together as we grew in faith, hope, and love. And now we are here today to celebrate Scott and Sena’s journey in faith, hope, and love. T: First, Faith. Throughout the years that Sena and Scott have been together, they have had to have a lot of faith in each other. They have had faith in each other and faith in God, which has brought them here today. Scott has faith that Sena can whip up a delicious feast out of the nothingness in their fridge. Sena has had faith that Scott will get her out of sticky situations... such as driving her car into their apa...

Miss SA became Mrs. SG this weekend!!! The wedding and reception was held at Fountains Ballroom in Glenwood, IA, which was absolutely enchanting. The pictures don't begin to do it justice. Click here for their website and gallery.

Today my mom bought me the book He's Just Not That Into You. Apparently, she thinks I need reminding. I know mom. No one's into me. I get it. Just kidding. But seriously.

This video was taken Christmas Eve 2007; it was our last Christmas as a family of four. Our house was trashed with wrapping paper, all our relatives had gone home, and my dad assumed his position at the piano. He played Christmas carols at first but couldn't resist doing some freestyle. I love that this video focuses on his hands.

Yes! I juuuust finished final revisions on my expat paper.. and by final revisions, I mean all the changes that my friend DS suggested. My favorite suggestion was to use the word "struck" instead of "hit" because it's longer. I'm not sure if DS was trying to be helpful because my paper was 12.5 font and I said, "Don't you dare take anything out" or if he was mocking me because I said, "My paper is too short. Will you take out all the short adjectives and replace them with longer ones?" Either way, I am quite pleased with his feedback, and I'm ready to send this bad boy off. DS Feedback: Tell Me How You Really Feel In case you can't decipher his handwriting: "If you explain this one more time I swear to God..." "Really. No. Say this..."

I hate talking on the phone. Hate it. I prefer just about any other mode of communication other than talking on the phone. But as my life has taken my friends and family and placed them in different zip codes, I have been forced to deal with this annoyance. Tonight I had a great talk with TB and realized that it's really not so bad, to talk on the phone. In fact, I'm going to go out in a limb here and say that maybe I'm starting to actually enjoy it. It's great to hear a familiar voice, something that facebook posts and emails can't provide. It's great to hear laughter, too. Yeah, this phone thing isn't so bad after all! Call me. I promise I'll answer now. Oh, and TB: I'm excited for your latest development and can't wait to get awkward-giggles with you very soon!

Yeah... Thanks, Billy.

I feel the exact same way

An excerpt from Greta Schiller's documentary "Paris Was A Woman" (DVD, 2004) about famous lesbian writer Natalie Barney and her friends Renee Vivien, Romaine Brooks, Gabrielle Sidonie Colette, etc. We watched this film in my Women Writers of the Left Bank class. It's wonderful. I gave a presentation about Natalie Barney in class and re-discovered this clip... I'm currently immersed in expatriate women writers, specifically Gertrude Stein and Janet Flanner as they are the topic of my final paper for the class.  Although I'm not too fond of this paper, I have loved learning about the expatriate community. It reminds me of my favorite expatriate, EH, my good friend who is living and studying in Paris this year. Her blog is my insight into Paris today.

Yeah, yeah. The content warning.. I know. But I like it. It makes me feel edgy.

My friend Cee-Ann (Sean) sent me a recording of him singing "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce while playing his keyboard. It sounded good. So does this video. I think this is more the result of my loving anything that involves Beyonce and less the result of successful covers. Introducing Kina Grannis. She's adorable. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7036E-Ngww8

I have the Best Secret Santa ever. Red starburst and red skittles. And Anne Lamott. Not a hot pocket, that was mine.   I love red. Don't write on yourself with brown marker. The next day it looks red. That is disturbing. Especially on your wrists. Especially in December.

This week we (my mom) is finally closing the sale on the old house. I'm going home for the signing of papers and to say goodbye to the house I called home from 4th grade until now.  It's a house that holds a lot of family memories, good memories and as of late, some not-so-good memories too.  I should be more nostalgic and/or sad about the final goodbye, but I think that because there have been so many goodbyes in the last 18 months, I've become numb to change. My plans, my address, my friends, and my perspective have all changed/evolved so drastically that closing another door for the last time doesn't seem so daunting anymore.  And too, the idea of "home" is pretty fluid, it seems, to most 20-somethings. This reminds me of a scene from Garden State .  Andrew Largeman : You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, tha...

My friend LS just said: "Everything is better with cheese. Especially research papers."

Last December I was But  I am found.

Gather the animals in two's, please!  http://www.thepublicopinion.com/news/local_news/article_3e288fae-e5a4-11de-8b3b-001cc4c03286.html

   I get to see my friend MM in 8 days. She loves hot air balloons and brie cheese. and rap music. She has the best laugh. Today she told me: "After being obsessed with vampires... I don't think a man will ever truly love me like I want him to." I don't feel the same way about vampires. But I do feel the same way about men.

"I just typed "thesaurus" into the thesaurus. I think that might break the internet." -KG

I watched Love Actually last night.. one of my all time favorite movies, especially this time of year. The combination of Christmas music and British accents is so lovely. So is the beginning scene: “Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”

This is a photo from my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary party that my mom and her siblings threw over Thanksgiving weekend. 50 years is a lot of years, after all. I wish everyone could make it to 50. I love this picture so much because my grandma is trying to kiss my grandpa and he looks absolutely repulsed. I envision my own (supposed) marriage to be something like this.

Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl, and they liked spending time together. They made each other laugh and shared more inside jokes than they could remember. Their friends were friends and they liked their friends. Sometimes they dated their friends and kissed their friends. They liked each other as friends. The boy and girl liked to be young and have fun and dance and laugh and celebrate. They liked summer and college and music . They liked each other. But their timing was always off. Sometimes she was available, and sometimes he wasn't. Sometimes he was staying, and sometimes she was leaving . Then, one night the timing was right. He kissed her, and it was right. But the next day, a very bad thing happened, and the girl's world fell apart. Feelings grew stronger for the girl, both good feelings and bad feelings. She needed an angel, and she thought the boy was her angel. He made her feel safe. With him, she didn't feel so alone. Maybe the boy was her angel for...

Tomorrow is my roommate and fellow Manda-Panda's birthday! In her honor, I am posting a link to her tumblr. I love pictures and words, and she does an beautiful job of putting them together. Happy Birthday Roommate! http://amandabarton.tumblr.com/

A Sista Email... one of my favorite kinds! Dear Amanda, At the wake last night I saw your Mom and Allison.  It was great to greet them even if it was only a couple of minutes.  I miss you more now that we are talking about putting up the Christmas cribs.  I am not sure why that reminds me more of you.  We also started teaching at Norswiss dairy.  It is 30 miles to the north on hwy 81.  We don't sing piano man on the trip. Will you be able to stop in when you are here for Christmas or come to Mass with Mom and Allison? Maybe you would like to come and visit with Edyta.  She is faithful in coming to class.  How long will you be on vacation? We keep busy as I am sure you are also.  It sounds like your classes are harder that teaching English 101. Have blesses Advent days and I hope you can visit us. Love,  Ida This picture was taken last December. The Multicultural Center puts up a display of nativity scenes from around the wor...

I read this and I underlined it. I don't know why. It has no significance to the story or really to anything. But any quote with the words feel, love, pain, heart, and comfort  is too sen-tastic (sentimental + fantastic) to go to waste. So it's getting some show time this morning. "I could feel the long swift fingers of love untying the terrible knot of pain that bound my head. And I put my arms around him and lay close to his heart in comfort." From "Black Boy" by Kay Boyle Doesn't it just make you want to hug??

Vh1 re-introduced me to this song tonight. Sooo good. I'm buying it on iTunes. Don't judge.

I have a terrorizing fear that one day I'm going to be listening to something weird/embarrassing/inappropriate on my computer and accidentally forget to plug my headphones in all the way thus revealing my weird/embarrassing/inappropriate taste in music to all who are in earshot. Why do I have this seemingly irrational fear? Because it already happened. twice. in the cubes. and once more. today. in the library. awwwkwarrrd. "Bacon is good for me!"

PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death and God from Frank Warren on Vimeo .

I've already posted this peppy website.. but it just makes me feel so peppy that I have to post it again! http://dailypeptalkfromabestfriend.com/ ___________________________________ Slack on. Pep talk: Ya know what feels great? Coasting. Going with the flow and doing the little bits of work you're assigned. So stop being annoyed that you're not given more responsibility. Responsibility is a bitch. Today remind yourself: Slack on.