bird by bird

Tonight when I was un-draining our bathroom tub and LS was washing her face before bed, we realized a semantic phenomenon in certain swear words. I generally am not a swearin' sailor, but I do love words and the way that they do or do not work according to linguistic "rules". To say your English teacher is "bitchy" means something bad, but to say your English teacher is "bitchin'" is good (used as an adjective, not verb). To say a car is "shitty" means something bad, but to say a car is "the shit" is good. This just in: I JUST REALIZED THAT THE DRANO BLEACHED MY FAVORITE JEANS!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!

The girls and I are getting away. We can't afford it, we might not all fit in the car, and we will probably be doing homework the whole way there and back, but by God, I'm determined to have a good time. Kansas City, here we come.

By Billy Collins It is awkward for me and bewildering for him as I hold him in my arms in the small bathroom, balancing our weight on the shaky blue scale, but this is the way to weigh a dog and easier than training him to sit obediently on one spot with his tongue out, waiting for the cookie. With pencil and paper I subtract my weight from our total to find out the remainder that is his, and I start to wonder if there is an analogy here. It could not have to do with my leaving you though I never figured out what you amounted to until I subtracted myself from our combination. You held me in your arms more than I held you through all those awkward and bewildering months and now we are both lost in strange and distant neighborhoods. Happy Poetry Festival!!!

When my dad would excuse himself to go outside to have a cigarette, he would say, "Gonna go check the weather." I told him that he would get lung cancer and die. He promised he wouldn't. He was right about the cancer.

One time last semester ST was sitting in my cubicle and I was drinking coffee. Something funny happened that I can't remember, and I burst out laughing. Coffee came out my nose. It was hot. The coffee, not the situation. The other day I had dinner with some fellow English TA's. I said that we needed to eat early because I had "a thing" at 7:30. That "thing" was my bible study. ST called me out on it. He said, "Why didn't you just say that you had bible study at 7:30?!" I don't know why. I asked him why he doesn't call his girlfriend his girlfriend. That shut him up. These stories are unrelated.  ST('s dog) has a blog now. You should follow it: http://lhotsi.blogspot.com/

This morning I gchatted with my old friend JN. He is in Law School in Omaha and was gchatting during class. I told him that if my students did that, I would "cut them". It's funny because it's not true.  We talked about airborne's effects on being drunk/hungover. He told me that people who wear more than 3 pieces of hemp or own a Che Guevara shirt shouldn't be allowed to go to college. Based on my experience last semester, I tend to agree. I told him that I was going to Kansas City this weekend to get "buck", and he said, "You better. and that doesn't mean 4 or five colored drinks. I know how girls get after college." At first I was offended, but then I realized that it's sort of true. I asked JN for a good bonus question to ask my students and he said:   "Arguably the only good United States president in the 20th Century, which President restored the American Values of limited government, traditional values, strong defense, ...

You are wrong, J. Geils Band (and Adam Sandler). Love doesn't stink. But you are right about the first four lines. And from what I know about the Twilight movies, the world agrees.  Simultaneous reciprocation of feelings is rare. I am sorry.

She wears three pairs of tights in the winter. I think it's brilliant. She's 8 inches shorter than me, and when people see us walk on campus together, I think they think.. well I don't know what they think. When I tell her I want to quit grad school, she compares it to child birth and tells me it's too late and it's almost over. When I dance, she laughs at me. When we tell each other secrets, I smile because I'm awkward and she understands that about me. And she smiles too. When we get bored, we take pictures with her new camera. We take turns taking pictures. We take turns "posing". We take turns convincing ourselves we're not vain, just artistic. She tries to hook me up with her friends. Friends with beards that I've never met and will probably never meet. We look at their profiles on facebook. She tells me about the guy she is seeing and her eyes light up when she talks about his letters. I remember that feeling, too, and I'm happ...

These two adorable little girls are my little cousins Ellie (big one) and Suzy (little one). They're adorable, hilarious, and freaking cute in this picture. Ellie looks just like my Grandma Wanda. I have been told that as a child, I, too, looked like Grandma Wanda. Based on the logic I have been learning about in Philosophy, I think this means Ellie and I look alike. We also bear a striking resemblance to Susan Boyle . Also, she calls me Panda. 

5 reasons why I need to stop being so negative: 1. I finally finished the ESL Summer Institute website! It took foreeeever, but it was a big thing to cross off the list. (Check it out: http://www.usd.edu/arts-and-sciences/english/english-as-a-second-language/summer-institute.cfm) 2. Philosophy was canceled! My 9 solid hours of brain exhaustion suddenly became 2.5 and 4. My day was manageable! 3. Gus has only peed on the floor once today! Oh wait, twice. Still. It could be worse.. 4. I found $60 in a pair of old blue jeans!!! 5. The Olympics are on!

Goodbye iPod, Hello tuna and macaroni & cheese

I don't know about a book of love.. but I do love books. And this song. The book of love is long and boring No one can lift the damn thing It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing But I I love it when you read to me And you You can read me anything The book of love has music in it In fact that's where music comes from Some of it is just transcendental Some of it is just really dumb But I I love it when you sing to me And you You can sing me anything The book of love is long and boring And written very long ago It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes And things we're all too young to know ...

I'm really not bitter about Valentine's Day. I'm really not. Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love, and I LOVE love. I'm not in love, but I love a lot. I just remembered this Valentine's Day story as I was driving back to Vermillion this afternoon in the treachery that is the SD interstate in February. When I thought of it, I literally laughed out loud at the thought /realization that maybe I really am under some sort of Valentine's Day curse. (See post on 2/12) ________________________ In my Valentine's Day experience, the worst possible place for a single, 21 year old woman to be on the day of love is, without a doubt, a sorority house. On this day, florists seem to make direct routes from floral shops to sorority houses bringing bouquets and balloons from boyfriends to girlfriends. I experienced this phenomenon for the three years that I lived in Theta, answering the door, greeting the deliverer, reading the card, and placing someone else...

I can be alone, yeah I can watch a sunset on my own I can be alone, yeah I can watch a sunset on my own I can be alone I can watch a sunset on my own

I don't have a Valentine this year, and this is why. I hate forwards. Also, this may explain why I've actually never had a Valentine on Valentine's Day. All those years of rejected love forwards starting in 8th grade (when I got my very first hotmail account: bubblesalightfield@hotmail.com) have left me cursed, it seems. Whatever. Forwards are lame. Bring on the cats and the weird smelling apartment, this girl has (email) standards.

“Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, she would never have been able to find these words.” --Rainer Maria Rilke

OK how awful is this?? It's an online dating website that targets married people searching for extramarital affairs. The tagline is: "Life is short. Have an affair." And it's real. I don't know what is more sad.. that there are 5,290,000 members or this commercial: That's it, I'm never getting married. I mean it. Don't bother asking.

"Don't ask me about being a writer. If when you wake up in the morning, and you can think of nothing but writing, then you're a writer." I think I want to be a writer.

In the cubes pre-9:30 am A: Would you rather be sexually harassed or regular harassed? D: I don't discriminate. K: Ah, whatever I can get.

When they were little girls with skinned knees and pure hearts, they shared a bedroom and a cherry wood set of bunk beds. Barbies and their plastic accessories covered the floor like shrapnel after a sisterly feud. The Barbies and their accessories went into hiding when her 5th grade friends came over. She was too old for Barbies. They had glow in the dark stars covering their ceiling and every now and then one would fall and get tangled up in the blankets they had with kittens and colored pencils screen printed on them. One morning she found one in her hair. The older one slept on the top bunk because her legs were long enough to hoist herself up without a latter. And she was the oldest. And the bravest. (There was no guard rail). Sometimes after they had been tucked in by their parents, the younger one would ask the older one to sing to her. So she sang Mariah Carey, naturally. Then, the little one would tell the big one that she loved her, in her sweet, little sister voice. Though t...

1 Corinthians 13 1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing. 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10...

It has recently come to my attention that I have a fetish. A Jewish fetish. The other night I was making a mental list of male actors that I would like to.. hold hands with.. and I realized that they all have one thing in common. Th ey're Jewish. Also, they're hilarious. But there are plenty of hilarious mal e actors that just don't get me going like these guys do. I think it's all about that cute little kippah they wear. Now, if only they believed in Jesus... In other news, lately people have been telling me that I'm a racist. Does this post make it true?

I spent a substantial portion of my morning on the phone to several polite, yet completely unhelpful, Wells Fargo associates. Apparently, someone must have attempted to steal my identity, but after actually accessing my online account and seeing the negative sign in front of the large number and the plus sign in front of the small number, he or she decided against it. That's right, someone aaalmost stole my identity, but then he or she realized that my identity is lame. My identity was rejected. By a thief. That's low.

“Outward beauty is not enough; to be attractive a woman must use words, wit, playfulness, sweet-talk, and laughter to transcend the gifts of Nature” --Petronius

I got to see my BFF TB this weekend, and it was like a breath of fresh air. I've been missing her and summer (they go hand in hand) a lot lately, so the weekend fix was just what the Dr. ordered. I made this video this summer for her birthday and have been watching it on repeat trying desperately to remember what warmth is like. I'm still cold. But the memory of summer and a time when TB and I lived under the same roof will hopefully tide me over for.. well tonight at least. It's zero degrees outside. fml.

"It would be impossible to compare an idea with a thing if the thing were an idea too. And then, if the first did correspond perfectly with the second, they would coincide. But this is not at all what is wanted when truth is defined as the correspondence of an idea with something real. For it is absolutely essential that the reality be distinct from the idea. But then there can be no complete correspondence, no complete truth. So nothing at all would be true; for what is only half true is untrue. Truth cannot tolerate a more or less. But yet? Can it not be laid down that truth exists when there is correspondence in a certain respect? But in which?..." --"A Logical Inquiry" by Gottlob Frege Yeah.. I'm in a class called Philosophy of Language. I really like language. Philosophy... not so much. I don't know what the H these people are talking about! Imagine the paragraph from above, times it by a three hour class once a week and an average of 40 pages a week. C...