Identity theft is not a joke, Jim

I spent a substantial portion of my morning on the phone to several polite, yet completely unhelpful, Wells Fargo associates. Apparently, someone must have attempted to steal my identity, but after actually accessing my online account and seeing the negative sign in front of the large number and the plus sign in front of the small number, he or she decided against it. That's right, someone aaalmost stole my identity, but then he or she realized that my identity is lame. My identity was rejected. By a thief. That's low.

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