bird by bird

Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really merely commonplaces of existence. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the planning, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chain of events, working through generations and leading to the most outer results, it would make all fiction with its conventionalities and foreseen conclusions most stale and unprofitable. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

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Amanda and Katie walk into the Fulton St. subway station. Katie is Brooklyn-Bound. Amanda is headed Uptown. Katie: "My train is here! " Amanda and Katie run down the stairs at lightning speed. Amanda: "MY train is here TOO!" Amanda and Katie quickly say goodbye to each other and hop on their respective trains on opposite sides of the platform. The doors close, and the trains take off. 30 seconds later... Katie (to self): Oh, shit. Amanda (to self): Oh, shit. Right trains. Wrong direction. 

Tell your dad you love him today. Though I didn't know it at the time, it would be the last thing I told my dad four years ago today. I've missed him every day since. 

On the same day that I got this "Remember your roots? Plant your seeds! Move back to South Dakota!" letter in the mail from the homeland, I also received a job rejection letter from my South Dakota alma mater. Make up your mind, South Dakota! Do you want me or not?! At least New York is pretty clear about how it feels about me..  I'm just not ready to give up trying to win it over. I guess that means that I'm staying. :)

On Saturday afternoon I dug though my dresser drawers and my make-shift closet and took out all the clothes that I don't wear anymore to donate to my church's thrift store. It was a really cleansing and cathartic experience ridding myself of the extra, the worn, the unworn. Then on Sunday morning, I put all the clothes in a big Santa-esque bag and lugged it down to the subway. I should also mention that this bag weighed approximately 50 pounds, and it was approximately 100 degrees outside. Approximately. I was sweating even before the train came. So the train came and I took it for 4 stops, got off, lugged the clothes up the stairs into the hot sun, and I began my looong journey covering three crosstown blocks. The handle on the bag wasn't really much of a handle so I had to carry the bundle like a baby. I looked like a freak. And then it was SO hot that I started really sweating, like the kind of sweating when you notice it dripping off your eyelashes. People were starti...

I took this pic when I was walking home from work last week talking to KS on the phone. I lost service at the exact time I snapped this pic, but I think it was worth it. 

For the past two and a half months, I have worked at the Disneyland of corporate financial offices. It has been a dream come true, and I'm not even being sarcastic! Last Friday was my last day answering phones and scheduling meeting rooms, and I was SO SAD to be leaving. The silver lining is that now I get to blog about THE GREATEST TEMP JOB IN THE WORLD.  Here's why this company rocks: First of all, my job is super easy. It includes answering occasional phone calls and transferring them, greeting occasional guests, confirming meeting room reservations.  These three duties take up approximately 10% of my time. The rest of the time I gchat, facebook, read Shades and Thought Catalog. Sometimes Bob (the security guard with whom I share my desk-- more on him later) turns on Law and Order and we spend the whole day guessing "who did it"! And I get paid to do all of this!! Every day all employees get to enjoy a marble bar full of amazing breakfast foods and catered lun...

Someone I love just had to break up with someone she loves, and she feels completely awful about it. I have been scouring the internet all day looking for a brilliant and understanding essay or song that I can send her to make her feel better. I quickly realized, however, that most of the essays about breaking up favor on the side of the dump-er. The same goes for songs.. and movies, now that I think of it. But really, this isn't totally fair. Sure, getting dumped blows. I mean, it really sucks, but let's not automatically demonize the person that stands up and says, "I don't think this working anymore." Sure, we can continue to demonize the cheaters, the liars, and the other jerks that the women of country music build their lyrical foundations on. But let's go easy on the nice guy or girl who has to let the equally nice girlfriend or boyfriend go because sometimes relationships just don't work out. Sometimes its just not meant to be. You were right. I...

Happy Birthday AO!!! Love you so so much, and hope your kids (and husband) behave themselves today!!

“On any person who desires such queer prizes, New York will bestow the gift of loneliness and the gift of privacy. It is this largess that accounts for the presence within the city’s walls of a considerable section of the population; for the residents of Manhattan are to a large extent strangers who have pulled up stakes somewhere and come to town, seeking sanctuary or fulfillment or some greater or lesser grail. The capacity to make such dubious gifts is a mysterious quality of New York. It can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky.” ― E.B. White, Here is New York

Sometimes the universe gives me snacks, little things that hold me over. A nice conversation with a handsome man I just met. A job prospect or encouraging contact. A beautiful Brooklyn apartment looking for someone just like me. Even if they're temporary or quickly fleeting, even if they don't work out (because they most likely won't), they keep me going.  Even if I never see him again or hear from that job or visit the apartment... it held me over for one more day. So today, instead of being bummed out by the disappointment of an unsatisfying snack, I will appreciate the hunger that keeps pushing me until it's finally my turn to sit at the feast .

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My mom and I were driving on I-29 last week, and we were taking about my employment woes. After the usual discussion about applications and networking and cover letters, blah blah blabbedy blah, my mom turned to me and said, "It's too bad that you couldn't get hired to be someone's friend." I thought, "Ah HA!" Then we started brainstorming what my CraigsList Ad would look like:   SUBJECT: 25-year-old female available for full-time friend. Looking for someone to consult when shopping? To tag along to work, social, or family events? To rush over with ice cream and vodka when you break up with your doushey lover?? Then I'm your friend!   I am available for a strictly platonic , full-time friendship in the Tri-State area. $700/wk plus work-related expenses such as dinners, movies, shows, etc. Also, if you could pay for my private health insurance, that would be great (No one wants a sick friend!!!). In exchange for a generous wage, I will pa...

It could happen.

"You're just like Hannah from GIRLS, only less frumpy." To me after I told a bunch of NYC stories at dinner and then started dancing to Robyn. "He's that one who likes to celebrate a lot, isn't he?" My grandma in reference to a small town guy who helped us load our boat. "My favorite thing about you was that you killed garter snakes for me."  To my childhood babysitter who just retired. "Tell me more about black people things." An unnamed friend after we were interrupted while discussing weaves.   "Imma let you talk in a minute." Someone to me at the bar after I yelled his name to say hello: (also Kanye West once said this to Taylor Swift) "You look really sailor-ish tonight" A friend to me for wearing a blue and white striped dress. "Text her and say that we're ordering room service and renting porn." To a friend who left us in her already paid for hotel room. "Oh my God, y...

Liberty has many looks. I just got back from 9 glorious South Dakota days, and now I'm exhausted and mixed up as usual. It is really like traveling between two planets when I go home and come back to NYC again, and it's hard on my body and my brain and my heart. I'm so sad to leave behind so many people that I love, but I'm so happy to be back in the action of this crazy city and all the adventures that wait to be had. I feel torn between two places that I love, and now I can truly say that I understand that poor girl on The Notebook ("Two men love me... my life is so hard.. blah blah blah...") There are things that I will or already do miss about South Dakota. I miss leaving a place where people just take care of each other; people take care of me. They help me carry my luggage. They help me decide what to wear. They help me get to the airport on time. Some of them knew me when I was a blond haired, blued eyed baby and some knew me when I had that awful ...

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