bird by bird

For the last three days, I have racked my brain trying to think of a creative and meaningful way to wish my good friend JG a "happy birthday" but none of my ideas have been good enough. I suck. I tried writing a poem. It sucked. I tried googling stuff that reminded me of you. It sucked. I tried listening to my ipod on shuffle hoping to find a song that was fitting. They all sucked. I guess the best thing about JG is she knows this about me; she understands. She knows that even though I don't have something shiny and sparkly, witty and brilliant to give her or say to her on her birthday, she knows that our relationship is genuine and sincere. She knows that even though I can be flaky and forgetful and sometimes seem to disappear for weeks or months at a time, our friendship is sometime I really cherish. (At least I hope she knows that!) So JG, I'm sorry I suck, but thanks for sticking with me anyway. I hope you have a really great birthday.... and here's your ...

I couldn't be with my mom and sister this July 21st because I was stuck inside a classroom trying to explain the past, present, and future perfect tenses to my confused and grammar-hating students. I wanted to do or say or write something special since it was a very special day, and then I thought of this... Piano Man by 3 Asians, an Indian, a Colombian, and me from Amanda Lightfield on Vimeo . I think Manisha was really into it.

It's been two long years now Since the top of the world came crashing down And I'm getting' it back on the road now But I'm taking the long way Taking the long way around Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself I opened my mouth and I heard myself It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself Guess I could have made it easier on myself But I, I could never follow No I, I could never follow Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down If you ever want to find me I can still be found Taking the long way around --those chicks from dixie

Find a Chinese student (Hao) who has only been in the United States for a couple of weeks. Make sure that his English skills are a little shaky and that he can't see anything without his glasses. Put an oversized life jacket on Hao and take him on a boat to the middle of a lake.  Turn the boat off and tell Hao to jump in. Say, "It's okay if you can't swim. The life jacket will keep you up." Watch as Hao jumps off the boat into the deep water. Watch as Hao's face turns from glee to terror. Watch as Hao struggles and stretches arms out in a panic. Throw Hao a child's swimming floaty that you found in the boat.  See Hao relieved. Forget about Hao for a few seconds. Watch as Hao floats away.   Then have your American friend rescue Hao and bring him back to the boat. Thank her profusely.

If someone were to ask me, "What's the greatest part of MM?" I would show them this video.  It's her laugh. :)

Lately, I've been overly stimulated, overly worked, and overly active. I haven't had time to stop or think or write about any of the number of things that have been going on these last couple of weeks. There was Jazz Fest, great but always bittersweet, the start of my ESL Summer Institute, also great but completely overwhelming,  and the 2 year anniversary of my dad's accident, which was not so great, but ok thanks to notes, thoughts, and prayers. I've been feeling run down, so writing and/or thinking (they're sort of synonymous) have seemed like such daunting tasks. Where to begin? But then when I was picking out magazines at the library for my ESL students to read, I stumbled across this months issue of Writer's Digest with my girl Anne Lamott on the front cover. I checked out the magazine and consumed it like it was a thick piece of chocolate cake after a 40 day long fast. I didn't take time to chew; I just swallowed. And everything that she wrote, I lo...

Ok so I don't have time to write, but I will post a few pics from the weekend. I took my 5 ESL students to Watertown, SD where we visited the Mother of God Monastery, the Redlin Art Center, and Blue Dog Lake. It was a hoot!

My feelings are refusing to be pinned down by words today.. so here's a video instead. Last year's celebration:

So many of the people I have lost in my life have been taken away suddenly and without warning. In a car accident or with a heart attack or in an accident at work. They were alive, and then suddenly they weren't. And somehow I sort of get that. It's black and then it's white. I get death , but I don't get dying . I don't understand the slow process of life fading away. I can't wrap my mind around saying goodbye to someone who is still here. I can't comprehend what it would be like to experience it myself. Really, what is the difference between living and dying? Aren't we all one day closer to the end, whether a doctor has given us a time frame or not? A friend's mother has cancer, and when she asked the doctor if she was terminal he told her, "Carla, we are all terminal." That really doesn't clear up my questions, but it certainly does put things in perspective. 

I met a carpenter the other night. He was charming and clever, and I was surprised. He asked for my number at the end of the night but never called. That didn't surprise me. I was a little bummed but only because I really could have used a new bookshelf.

Only in Waubay, SD do you go to a wedding dance of a wedding you weren't invited to, get served a beer from the president of the school board, find the town major plunging the toilet in the women's bathroom, and have the Lutheran minister walking around making sure everyone has a ham sandwich and a safe ride home. I can't make this stuff up.

During a mid-morning yawn yesterday, my mom let it slip that she made our coffee half decaffeinated and half regular. Then she told me she does that every morning. It was like finding out that Santa wasn't real. My life has been a fraud.

You,  It was great to talk to you tonight, to hear your voice and your giggle. You remind me so much of how precious your friendship is to me, and know that I am here for you to laugh with or cry with any time of the day or night. Or even just to sit on the other side of the phone in silence. Sometimes I think that's the most comforting of all.  And above all, I hope that through all my rambling and weirdness and my oh-so-inappropriate use of the phrase "I understand" (because I can't, really).. I hope I was able to get across the main thing I want you to know. Just.. I love you. -Me

Yeah, yeah, it's another romantic comedy movie love quote.. get over it. I like it because it reminds me of a conversation I had with MM a few weeks ago sitting outside a restaurant in Omaha. We talked about shitty things men have said to us and sweet things men have seen to us. I said that the best compliment that a man could give is a compliment about something a woman creates, not something that is already created (ie physical appearance). Then I saw the movie Love Happens and thought, "Exactly!" Though it definitely isn't entirely applicable, I agree about the last few sentences. "I happen to know a thing or two about people. You get approached a lot. Probably have since the day you strapped on your first training bra. But you're smart, and you're creative, and you're caring and big... But, how come the guys only see the package it comes in, sure... you're flattered. But ultimately, ultimately it's tiresome because it has nothing to do ...

CS and I had a morning of bad [car] luck followed by good [car] luck. We learned that two girls wearing dresses standing beside a flat tire attracts men like those blue bug zappers attract bugs. We learned that I had a key socket in my glove compartment and that putting the parking brake on is actually very important in the tire changing process. We learned not to trust passer byers with long pinky nails. Or AAA. We also learned that sometimes if you can't tighten the bolt on the battery, it works just as well to hit it repeatedly with a wrench. We learned that even though it's nice that men want to help, sometimes they just screw it up even more (but we already knew that). "Thanks for trying (but now just leave us alone so we can undo what you just did)"

I told KG that she should bring her blog back. She politely responded, "I think you should bring sexy back." When we walked out of the ice cream shop, DG declared he was going to open a gravity insurance business. It would operate beside ice cream shops around America providing refunds to fallen cones and dishes. I said, "That's genius." On my 8 hour drive on Wednesday, I listened to podcasts that I downloaded from iTunes. LS told me about them last week; I hadn't realized they were free. I told her that this information would have been greatly appreciated during lent when I gave up music and drove in silence for 40 days. She said, "Sorry."

This isn't your typical country video. But I like that about it. It's different.