bird by bird

2015 has been like a visiting house guest, wonderfully welcome at first followed by an inevitable relational conflict, and ending with a warm hug but an under-the-breath "get the fuck out of here." 2015 came, she hurt, she healed, and now I want her to get the fuck out of here. But first, let's recap. I spent the first half of 2015 with a tall, bearded man who taught me how to properly mince a scallion, how to play chess (kinda), and most significantly how it felt to be really loved. In the months that followed, we shared so much with each other: entrées, stories, blankets, bottles of wine. I had someone to say good night to every night, and I was devastated when those "good nights" ended so abruptly. A lot of bad nights followed, but the people I love most in life swooped in, and quite frankly, saved me. My mom came to stay for a long weekend to help me pack, and my Brooklyn lady tribe helped me, literally and fig...

“As I got older, I got craftier and less obvious, but I’ve always put a lot of energy and effort into people liking me. That’s why I’ve never understood the compliment “effortless.” People love to say: “She just walked into the party, charming people with her effortless beauty.” I don’t understand that at all. What’s so wrong with effort, anyway? It means you care. What about the girl who “walked into the party, her determination to please apparent on her eager face”? Sure, she might seem a little crazy, and, yes, maybe everything she says sounds like conversation starters she found on a website, but at least she’s trying. Let’s give her a shot!” ― Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?

Coffee, more specifically the large cup of goodness that I get every morning from the coffee cart outside the hospital. It's the best coffee I've ever had ( no exaggeration) and it's $1.50. My IUD! Man, that baby hurt when she was put in, but she's given me such freedom and most importantly a headache-free life. Gchat and the ability to talk so frequently to my BFF + librarian who lives thousands of miles away. My nephew pup Rufus for providing me so much Snapchat entertainment When things I love go on sale (looking at you, Anthropologie) My mandolin and all who supported my music making endeavor, most notably CS for letting me borrow her mandy, AM for buying me a brand new one when CS's ended up being damaged, and Domino the dog (or rather his owners) for paying me the exact amount of mandy lessons to dogsit for a week in September. You'll all be included in my Grammy's speech.  Black olives--the perfect snack! All of the new emojis! I don't eve...