My Non-Nose Job Nose Job

Last week I had my very first surgery! I wish I could say it was a regular surgery like getting my appendix taken out or a bad ass surgery like repairing a torn ACL, but it wasn't boring or interesting--more embarrassing than anything else. I got a nose job. I mean, not really. I didn't get a cosmetic rhinoplasty like the kind that movie stars get and then lie about. I had an open septorhinoplasty with bilateral spreader grafts, bilateral lateral crural extension grafts and caudal septal reset, which basically equals same nose, bigger nostrils, better breathing. Hopefully.

I've been home for a week recovering, with some help and companionship from my mom and other CO loves. I've had such lofty goals set for myself this week--almost none of which I accomplished. I had planned to finish 2 books I have started and stalled, write every day, organize my closet, and many more apartment projects. Instead, I took pain killers, drank soup, and mustered up enough ambition to shower, twice. So now on the eve of my return back to work, I'm forcing myself to write, now, for just a little bit before I go to bed. I need to cross something off my list.

This is weird thing to say, but being a patient was so fun! I think it's because I work in healthcare and with physicians daily, but I generally don't get to interact with patients so being one was sooo interesting. My being thoroughly fascinated with the entire experience came out in the form of uncontrollable ear-to-ear grinning, which I just couldn't help! I liken it to the time that I served on a jury in Brooklyn and I couldn't stop BEAMING WITH JOY while this poor man testified about getting in a horrible car accident. I just like to learn and experience new things, OK?! Anyway, I don't think most people going into surgery are usually as psyched so hopefully my care team found my enthusiasm refreshing?

I'll gloss over the specifics of my first week post-op. There was "mustache gauze" and Richard Nixon jowl level swelling, and I'll leave it at that. I watched the Quincy Jones doc on Netflix, some very old episodes of Law and Order SVU, and I snuck in some CNN because I have a problem. I didn't clean, create, organize, or plan. Instead I sat and swelled.

Yesterday EH drove me to my 1-week post-op appointment to have my bandages, splints, and stitches removed and for my new (same) nose to be revealed. When the surgeon was finished, he stood back, crossed his arms, cocked his head to one side and said, "Wow! You really are more swollen than most. Sorry about that." I felt like he was taking a mental image of his new record for "biggest nose" post-op. At least I left an impression. Afterward, EH and I went to Sonic where we shared tator tots and a Sonic Blast, and she tried to convince me that it really didn't look "that bad." God love her.

My week of recovery is now officially over and all I'm left with is an unaccomplished list of goals and one very big nose. And I guess, this blog post. Good night.



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