Operation: Keep Busy

My goal this week or so has been to be productive, to keep my mind occupied. I've online shopped, Christmas shopped, and window shopped. I forced myself to go to a party in far away neighborhood in the pouring rain. I even forced myself to meet visiting friends in Times Square. I wrote Christmas cards and made soup from scratch, and my email inbox has never been cleaner. I've organized my refrigerator, and I've gone to spin class. I've meet up for a happy hour with new friends. I've met up for a happy hour with old friends. You wouldn't believe how organized my sock drawer is. And now, though my life looks tidy and organized, and my to-do lists are being tackled with seriously impressive vigor, there are still cracks in my day when I get sad. I still have moments in between errands and events when I think about everything I'm trying not to think about, feel everything I'm trying not to feel. I think I need to realize that this is going to happen, no matter how busy I stay, no matter how organized my sock drawer is.

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