Love and Leaving

I'm currently reading Goodbye to All That: Writers on Loving and Leaving New York. Don't get any ideas; I'm not leaving any time soon, but I recently read a review of this book, and what interested me so much about it was that each essay tells the story of someone like me who came to New York City, and who, like me, eventually left. Everyone knows the "coming to NYC" story but I feel like the "leaving NYC" story is one that is rarely told. Moving here is such a decisive event, a declaration like pioneers claiming their territory by driving a stake in the ground like the last scene of Far and Away. But leaving is more vague, less defined. "It's easy to see the beginnings of things and harder to see the ends," says Joan Didion. And I think she's right.

I'll share some of my favorite quotes from various essays in the book, because if you didn't already know this about me, I often prefer pieces of things to them as whole. Finding nuggets of beautiful lines in text and in song is kind of my jam. Here are some:

Beginning: "On the first afternoon, we emerged into a rippling current of bodies. I froze, struck dumb by the summer heat, the smells of garbage, cigarette smoke, and roasting nuts. I looked up at the sliver of sky and ahead at the sea of faces, and experienced the only kind of love at first sight that I believe in. Abuela tugged me to the curb, and showed me how to tuck my money in my shoe." "Home" by Melissa Febos

Middle: "I worked hard and went out a lot, and every so often at the end of the night I would treat myself to a cab ride home. My favorite part was--still is--going over the Manhattan Bridge, feeling the jerk of vertigo in my stomach, and looking at the lights of all the brides draped over the East River like jewelry." "Out of Season" by Ruth Curry

End: "On my last day in New York, I sat on the brownstone's front steps with a pen and paper for an hour to catalogue everything that passed by. I wanted to capture a lasting, written snapshot of what had once felt like the center of the world and in some ways still did. I counted thirty-four taxis, ninety-four pedestrians, eighteen dogs, one scarlet macaw, two policemen, seven Hare Krishnas, one Chabad Mitzvah Mobile trumpeting Hebrew songs, and a woman I'm pretty sure was Diana Ross. Then I read through the list and said a silent goodbye." "You Are Here" by Hope Edelman