Temping is sooo awkward...

Being a temp has got to be one of the weirdest jobs there is. You're kind of like a real employee, but the company doesn't really want you to work there forever and you don't really want to work there forever. *contemplating making a comparison to a one-night-stand... remembering my mom reads this* But really, the whole idea of being "temporary" is strange. Whether the company has high or low expectations and regardless of how much you're getting paid an hour or how long the assignment is, the whole experience is totally awkward. Let me give you an example, or thirteen.

[Disclaimer: Despite the following confessions, I'm actually a pretty kick-ass temp. But when you change jobs and offices and coworkers every single week, there are bound to be a few hiccups here and there. So, future employer reading this, I promise that I'm actually a really capable and reliable employee. Plus, I have a sunny disposition and charming wit! Right?]

It's just so awkward..

• When someone calls the office, and you have to tell them, "I'm not exactly sure what this company does, sir, but I'm pretty sure that it does not do that."
• When you go in a conference room to give the visiting clients their coffee, and you can't remember who is a guest and who actually works at the company.
• When you accidentally close the office memo document without saving it two minutes before it's time to leave on Friday at 5.
• When you constantly get every Jim, Frank, Joe, Mark, and Richard mixed up because they're all white, middle-aged men in suits, and you swear they all look the exact same.
• When you google "how to clear your search history" but then forget to actually clear it before you leave, and the next person on the computer knows that you tried. 
• When you greet the CEO like he's a visiting client but really he owns the whole company.
• When you immediately forget everyone's name that you're introduced to, and yet you're still expected to remember them all.
• When you have the "have a nice life" goodbye and awkward hug on your last day.
• When you are constantly referred to as "just the temp."
• When you bring your lunch to save money, but there's no room for you in the break room, and it's raining outside.
• When it's your birthday and no one knows. Or cares.
• When the temp agency tells you to wear a full suit, but when you arrive at the job, the guy who is training you is wearing sweatpants.
• When you answer the phone and say the wrong company name or a combination of company names. And then you accidentally swear into the receiver.

All. Happened. To. Me.