No Cooking Allowed.

In case you haven't heard, I'M MOVING TO BROOKLYN!! Now I need to back up a little bit and tell you about the week I spent perusing Craig's List looking for an apartment. First of all, it wasn't pretty. Literally. There are a lot of ugly apartments out there. Secondly, some of the ad descriptions I found were so weird, funny, random that you know I had to copy and paste. [Unfortunately, I didn't really think of saving the weird ones until half way through my search, but still, you get the picture.]

Search: Brooklyn Sublet Starting Aug. 1

Results:
"...Also note: gender, race and sexual orientation no issue (just please no Republicans!)"

"Beautiful large living rm (adorned with African/Caribbean/Latin American art and instruments, including tuned piano)..."

"Must be cool with cats, synthesizers, the occasional party, the occasional quiet time, keeping things clean, weird books, rituals/seances, queer culture, records, an undramatic lifestyle."

"No cooking."
"Here's what you get:
Hardwood floors
Chapel style ceiling
chandelier
movie Projector
roof access
brick walls
common area big enough to ride a bike around
Catwalk
2 stages
Book library
Dvd Library"
"have a room available and am able to have guests to visit. If you need a discreet quiet hot spot to hookup, please get in touch. It is available for as long or as many times as you need. VERY discreet and flexible with terms. Located uptown in Harlem, near all transportation, as well as the Bronx." [I swear this isn't mine!]

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