It's a Hard Knock Life

This morning I ACCIDENTALLY slapped a woman on the D train. It's hard to explain, but it happened somehow, and afterward I ran off the train and down the platform because that broad looked mean! Then I got on the E train, and as soon as the doors closed, I realized it was going the wrong direction! Then, I gave up on the trains and walked through Times Square, which is just about the last place you want to be when you're late for work and haven't had your morning coffee. I made it to the office with one minute to spare and have been watching my back ever since. Karma's a bitch, you know.

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