the book vs. the street

When I was in grad school and I was overwhelmed with how smart everyone else was, I would tell myself, "It's ok, girl. Maybe you ain't as book smart, but you gots street smarts, yo!"

Now, I'm hanging out on the streets everyday, and I'm realizing that I ain't street smart either! I am lost all the time; the subway is like a labrynth with no Bowie. Even simple tasks like operating elevator buttons and getting cashier checks are like complex mind games. I'm a bumbling idiot who follows "real New Yorkers" around, and it has become apparent to me and everyone around me that I have absolutely NO street smarts.

I am awkward and uncertain and naive virtually all of the time, but there was one glorious and fleeting moment last weekend when I finally got to be the cool kid... We went to an NYU swim team party, and all my friends bought 40's at the deli on the corner. When we got to the party, we all realized that no one had a bottle opener. Just as the thirsty swimmers began to hang their heads in utter disappointment, I grabbed a beer, lined the top up against a coffee table ridge, hit it with my outer palm, and BAM--off the top went. I hate to brag, but there were cheers and chants from miles around as I opened each bottle on the coffee table ridge (and one in the subway).

I may not be as smart as the other grad students. I may not be as smart as these New Yorkers. But by God, I can open a bottle of beer. Cheers!!