Good Grief.. but not really

Grief.. makes me so mad I want to say the f-word. Every time I hear about grief's attack on someone I love, I get the violent urge to swear and spit and shake my fist in the sky shouting, "Don't you dare! Leave my people alone!"

And then I get thinking about death and mortality and about how we are all going to die. It hits me that literally every single person that I love, will love, or have loved is going to leave me some day. If I don't leave first. That's awfully depressing.

On one hand, it makes me want to run away from everyone.. move to a shack on Walden pond.. just me and some notebooks and friendly mice and bread. When mice friends die or bread goes bad, it's more of an inconvenience than a loss.

On the other hand, this realization of mortality makes me want to herd my loved ones like cattle (I'm sure you appreciate the analogy) in a big safe barn where no one can go anywhere and I can go from person to person (or cow to cow) hugging everyone and telling them how much I love them.

It makes me want to tell you how much I love you.

Good grief.