Expressions of Love
So if you didn't know, Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching. This is my 22nd consecutive Valentine-less Valentine's Day, but I'm happy to report that I've successfully completed all of the stages of (good) grief:
1. Shock and Denial: This one hit probably in kindergarten.. "What do you mean he doesn't want this Valentine cupcake? It's fresh from my easy bake oven! This cannot be!"
2. Pain and Guilt: Definitely a middle school stage. This is when giving valentines became voluntary thus leaving this 13 year old's locker empty minus the love note from mom stuck to my bologna sandwich. "What is wrong with me?"
3. Anger and Bargaining and 4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness: Combined these stages reflect the first three years of college. My sophomore year on Valentine's Day, I wore all black and tried really really hard not to smile all day. It didn't work. I also tried bargaining by sacrificing other holidays in return for a good V-Day. I was willing to have the groundhog see his shadow every year and also I thought we could just do away with President's Day. (They already have a white house, they don't need their own day anyway). Alas, it didn't work and I was left alone, bitter, and depressed on several more Valentine's Days.
5. The Upward Turn: My turn around was the day I realized that I DO have a Valentine and his name is Jesus. Really, he is everything I could want in a Valentine. He is well-mannered, well-known, well-liked (for the most part), and he gave me a little thing I like to call Salvation. Overall, a good choice, I think.. although I'm still waiting on some flowers or chocolate..
6. Reconstruction and Working Through and 7. Acceptance and Hope: Although I've had some rough Valentine's Days in the past, I've reached acceptance and even gratitude. I've realized that although I've never had a "Hallmark Valentine", that certainly does not mean that I've gone un-loved or un-remembered. My mom has supplied me with V-Day socks, window clings, and 'undies' almost every year. My dad tried to send me flowers a couple years ago (but gave the wrong credit card number to the Hy-Vee Floral Dept... I got them like 3 days later...he felt awful but it was still really sweet). My friends are absolutely amazing and single or not, they make me happy to be where I am.. And every time a hug is given, a door is held open, or a seat given up, all those bitter anti-vday thoughts seem to go away. I still have a flicker of hope, by the way, that someday I will get my cheesy-over-comercialized-Hallmark-kind-of-Valentine. And if not, then that's ok too.
1. Shock and Denial: This one hit probably in kindergarten.. "What do you mean he doesn't want this Valentine cupcake? It's fresh from my easy bake oven! This cannot be!"
2. Pain and Guilt: Definitely a middle school stage. This is when giving valentines became voluntary thus leaving this 13 year old's locker empty minus the love note from mom stuck to my bologna sandwich. "What is wrong with me?"
3. Anger and Bargaining and 4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness: Combined these stages reflect the first three years of college. My sophomore year on Valentine's Day, I wore all black and tried really really hard not to smile all day. It didn't work. I also tried bargaining by sacrificing other holidays in return for a good V-Day. I was willing to have the groundhog see his shadow every year and also I thought we could just do away with President's Day. (They already have a white house, they don't need their own day anyway). Alas, it didn't work and I was left alone, bitter, and depressed on several more Valentine's Days.
5. The Upward Turn: My turn around was the day I realized that I DO have a Valentine and his name is Jesus. Really, he is everything I could want in a Valentine. He is well-mannered, well-known, well-liked (for the most part), and he gave me a little thing I like to call Salvation. Overall, a good choice, I think.. although I'm still waiting on some flowers or chocolate..
6. Reconstruction and Working Through and 7. Acceptance and Hope: Although I've had some rough Valentine's Days in the past, I've reached acceptance and even gratitude. I've realized that although I've never had a "Hallmark Valentine", that certainly does not mean that I've gone un-loved or un-remembered. My mom has supplied me with V-Day socks, window clings, and 'undies' almost every year. My dad tried to send me flowers a couple years ago (but gave the wrong credit card number to the Hy-Vee Floral Dept... I got them like 3 days later...he felt awful but it was still really sweet). My friends are absolutely amazing and single or not, they make me happy to be where I am.. And every time a hug is given, a door is held open, or a seat given up, all those bitter anti-vday thoughts seem to go away. I still have a flicker of hope, by the way, that someday I will get my cheesy-over-comercialized-Hallmark-kind-of-Valentine. And if not, then that's ok too.
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