A Day in the Life
A lot happened when I was back in South Dakota two weeks ago (cats remembered me, drove my jeep all over town, found out I have a cavity), but a lot of really funny things happened on Thursday.
Thursday, September 29th:
Today I had meatloaf at the monastery. I went to the Multicultural Center first, to holla at my sistas, Teresa and Ida, and to tell them all about my new big city life. I also needed to get the dirt on the apparent kidnapping that had taken place at a dairy farm where they teach (and where I once taught) ESL. When I read the article in the paper, I was afraid that Sister Ida had been shoved in the horse trailer as well, but I was relieved to learn that no nuns were harmed in the kidnapping case (just poor, poor Sergio...). After the sisters cleared that up for me, Sister Ida rode shotgun in my jeep and we drove up to the monastery for mass and lunch. We didn't sing "Piano Man" on the way, but I could tell Sister Ida wanted to. The sun was in my eyes for the entire mass, but it was nice to see that sun, for a change, so I let it happen. The mass celebrated the feast of the three archangels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. Michael fights against evil and has a cool prayer, so naturally he is my fav. Raphael shared a name with a ninja turtle so he's second on my list. Gabriel's chill, too. It was a good mass to go to, and afterward I got a dozen nun-hugs, which I personally think must be pretty similar to the angelic kind. During lunch, they all asked me questions, laughed at my jokes, and agreed to pray for me. The desert wasn't bad either.
"What's your favorite color?"
"What's your favorite pet?"
"What's your favorite food"
--Interruption from Mrs. L reminding them that questions should be about New York--
"What's it like.. like there... like... just.. what's it like?!"
"Umm... I forgot."
"Are there fire trucks there?"
"My aunt lives in an apartment!"
"I'm on level 3 on my Madagascar video game!"
"Umm.. I forgot... again."
Finally we wrapped up the Q&A, and I told the kids that I'd come back in December and read a (better) book to them then. I can do so much better than Maxi the stupid taxi dog (tots unrealistic..)
Thursday, September 29th:
Today I had meatloaf at the monastery. I went to the Multicultural Center first, to holla at my sistas, Teresa and Ida, and to tell them all about my new big city life. I also needed to get the dirt on the apparent kidnapping that had taken place at a dairy farm where they teach (and where I once taught) ESL. When I read the article in the paper, I was afraid that Sister Ida had been shoved in the horse trailer as well, but I was relieved to learn that no nuns were harmed in the kidnapping case (just poor, poor Sergio...). After the sisters cleared that up for me, Sister Ida rode shotgun in my jeep and we drove up to the monastery for mass and lunch. We didn't sing "Piano Man" on the way, but I could tell Sister Ida wanted to. The sun was in my eyes for the entire mass, but it was nice to see that sun, for a change, so I let it happen. The mass celebrated the feast of the three archangels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. Michael fights against evil and has a cool prayer, so naturally he is my fav. Raphael shared a name with a ninja turtle so he's second on my list. Gabriel's chill, too. It was a good mass to go to, and afterward I got a dozen nun-hugs, which I personally think must be pretty similar to the angelic kind. During lunch, they all asked me questions, laughed at my jokes, and agreed to pray for me. The desert wasn't bad either.
...
In the afternoon, I went to Mrs. L's first grade class to meet the new batch of little devils and to read them a story about NYC. After realizing that both the school and public libraries have a disappointingly small number of children's books about New York, I found one about a dog and a taxi and it sort of rhymed so I went with it. The kids were mostly attentive to my story, except for one little girl who put her knees and head to the ground, raised her little hinny in the air, and stuck her two hands behind her back inside the back of her pants. Mrs. L politely tapped her on the shoulder, and she perked right up just in time for the grand finale of Maxi the dog (the main character, not the tampon). After my expressive and overall greatly captivating reading of a frankly slightly boring book, Mrs. L asked the kids if they had any questions for me about New York City. Here is what followed:"What's your favorite color?"
"What's your favorite pet?"
"What's your favorite food"
--Interruption from Mrs. L reminding them that questions should be about New York--
"What's it like.. like there... like... just.. what's it like?!"
"Umm... I forgot."
"Are there fire trucks there?"
"My aunt lives in an apartment!"
"I'm on level 3 on my Madagascar video game!"
"Umm.. I forgot... again."
Finally we wrapped up the Q&A, and I told the kids that I'd come back in December and read a (better) book to them then. I can do so much better than Maxi the stupid taxi dog (tots unrealistic..)
...
That night, Mama L and I busted open the liquor cabinet and invited our/her friends over for drinks and girl talk. Since most of my friends all live out of town, I've officially adopted all of my mom's friends as my own. I hope they're ok with it! My mom and I share hairspray and meds, we might as well share friends too. They listened intently to my stories of shootings and stabbings, nannying for the senator, and going on my 9/11 date, and I realized that I haven't blogged about some of my best NYC stories! (I'm hoping to change that soon). My adopted-friends told some hilarious stories too, like SP's story of her mother who is the "other" woman to fellow nursing home resident. It would be sad, except for they all have Alzheimer's so none of them know any better. It's like two sad things, infidelity and the loss of brain function, equal one kind of cute, sweet thing. SP said that she caught her mom and Don Quixote making out once. It was a hilarious and charming story and night, overall, but I went to bed envious of a Alzheimer's patient in her 90's. So I don't know what that means..
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