I am no tiny dancer

I love to dance. I love to dance alone. My body was made that way, I think. The way that I twist and twirl and shimmy and strut is something that seems to happen on its own. The swinging of my hips and skip of my step are motions that are entirely independent of thought and reason and sometimes even rhythm. It is the music that moves me, and the result is instinctual and often very, very uncoordinated. I've grown to value this about this bumbling body of mine, in spite of the sweat and embarrassment that it often produces, mostly because it's something that I'm really good at doing.. alone.

For me, dancing with a partner just slows me down and holds me back. It feels too controlled, and there is no freedom to move. Arms and legs have to coordinate with a partner, and speed and direction have to accommodate to the one who leads. I am not the one who leads. Dancing with someone else can be awkward and sometimes downright painful. I know; I've been hurt before.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be good at partner-dancing or if I even have it in me to learn. Maybe my dance will always be a solo dance. It's ok if it is--I have a lot of fun doing it! :)